Thursday, September 13, 2007

On Me and Time

I learned something about myself. The way I view time needs to develop. I have always been slow. Not running—I guess I’m an average runner. But it takes me some time to do things. I often am the last one to finish a meal. My college suitemates made fun of me for taking 20 minutes in the shower. I could spend an hour folding a basket of clothes while jamming to music.

Sometimes I’m slow to understand things, too. My 7th grade math teacher described me as a “late bloomer.” I can get there, but it takes me a while. I often walk away from a conversation thinking, “I should have said this,” or “But what about such and such?” It’s like having a hundred questions for the doctor, right after he walks away.

My concept of time needs improvement because it keeps me from moving on. I sometimes get focused on doing a task and fail to focus on COMPLETING the task. Folding clothes is not a permanent state of being.

And then I expect holidays to last forever. I feel betrayed when the time is up. “I’ve been waiting so long for this to come. How can it be over already?”

I want to enjoy the moment, but I need to find the right balance. Time is not for me or against me. Time just is. It will keep moving on with or without me. If I will focus on completing tasks, I can get more done. I can savor the important things and move on through the mundane.

Oops. My time is up.