Rock Bottom for Worriers

Twelve-steppers know that real change for addicts only happens when one reaches rock bottom. How low can you go? You only know when you reach that lowest possible place in your life. You can no longer fight. You can only give up. The consequences of your actions have become so severe that you can no longer pass the blame off on someone else. You finally own your problem.

When you are down, flat on your back, you have nowhere to look but up. You are helpless, crying out for help, because you can no longer handle it.

An alcoholic may reach rock bottom when she has killed another driver. A drug addict may get there when his crack buddy dies of an overdose. A sex addict may get there when he contracts an STD.

What if you are addicted to worry? What could cause you to reach rock bottom?

Some worriers are fixers. You worry about things until you figure out how to fix them. Then you worry until your fix them. Or you worry until the situation blows over. Or you worry until some other hero comes in to save the day.

Worry has seemed to work for you. If you didn't worry, everything would fall apart. Other people should thank you for worrying. But they rarely do.

You rationalize: Your worry is not hurting anyone else. You can stop anytime you want. Everybody worries about something. You deserve to worry because of all your responsibility. It's just your temperament to worry.

Is there a 12-Step program for worriers? Is it an addiction?

Worriers can reach rock bottom. It hurts. It is depressing. Rock bottom comes with a circumstance that is completely beyond your control, so severe that there is no way out and no turning back.

You finally realize that your worry won't help. (It never has, but you've never admitted that.)

You realize that your effort cannot fix it.

You are finally flat on your back, powerless, forced to look up.

God loves you enough to allow you to face that rock bottom. He is freeing you from your addiction to worry. Not over your worry yet? Then this is not rock bottom.

Look out.

Forgive Me for Praying

When I pray, I feel like I am not accomplishing anything.  I get distracted.  I fail to pray for the obvious concerns, in which I really need God's intervention.  I forget to ask him for wisdom.  My mind wanders.  I fall asleep.  Sometimes I really connect with God, but too often I do not.  Or at least I don't feel like I connect.  Here I am, a man who struggles with narcolepsy, doing work with my eyes closed.  Now that's a recipe for problems.

I believe that prayer is essential to the work of the kingdom of God.  But I feel guilty when I "work" without producing anything.  I would rather put dates on a calendar, make a list of sermon titles, look up words in the original language, even read a book.  Those things look much more productive than prayer.  And I have something to show for it.  That makes me feel better about myself.  It feeds my addiction.

But God tells me over and over that life is all about relationship.  He wants my relationship with him to deepen.  He is much less concerned about my production.  Jesus reminds us that the most important thing in life is to love God with all that we are.

Dallas Willard says that ministry leaders should, above all, live a life of satisfaction in the Lord.  If I am satisfied with Jesus, then life has a whole new electricity.  There is freedom, excitement, and joy all around me, when I'm already satisfied in him.  Production can freely flow, when I'm satisfied in him.

But production is only a byproduct.  When I grit my teeth to produce, I become frustrated, uncreative and dull.  I keep his life from flowing through me.  Prayer is the key to my satisfaction in Jesus, even though it looks unproductive.

But I feed my production addiction, and limit the power and presence of God in my life.  I need to get over feeling guilty about prayer, so I can really be with Jesus.  I can ask him for wisdom, let his power flow, and grow in my satisfaction in him.  Sounds like what Jesus had in mind all along.