Spirit Suppression

I just picked up Henri Nouwen's book, In the Name of Jesus.  I have never read anything by Nouwen, but his name is very familiar to me.  My friends who seem to have a daily, intimate experience with Jesus often mention his writings.  Having heard this book mentioned in a sermon podcast, I found a free .pdf of the book and began to read.

Only a few paragraphs into the introduction, Nouwen wonders if he is suppressing the Holy Spirit.  I had to click off my iPad.  I already had enough to chew on.

Of course I am suppressing the Holy Spirit.  That is the source of nearly all my problems.  I suppress him, ignore him, forget him.  How many days do I endure, never really thinking about his presence in my life?  I suppress the Holy Spirit, and my life is the worse because of that.

An old iron mine in SW Virginia

Tears rolled down my face this morning as I wondered how much my life would be different, if only I would repent of suppressing him.  My life would be more exciting, fulfilling, rewarding, effective, real, genuine, joyful, dangerous, and free.

Lord, please forgive me for stifling your presence in my soul.  Help me change my heart.  I want to be real.  I want to live.