Fear and Prayer

"I wonder if fear is not our main obstacle to prayer.  When we enter into the presence of God and start to sense the huge reservoir of fear inside us, we want to run away into the many distractions, which our busy world offers so abundantly.  But we shouldn't be afraid of our fears.  We can confront them, give words to them, and lead them into the presence of the One who says, 'Be not afraid.  It is I.'"  --Henri Nouwen, as quoted by Brennan Manning in Ragamuffin Gospel

Fears lose their power when we "give words to them."  Fear can be a looming sense of nebulous dread.  I find that virtually any fear of mine melts away, almost comically, when I put it into words.  Even if the thing I dread comes true, it typically brings me no real harm.

Fear easily hinders my prayer life.  My thoughts go in circles, and I cannot focus.  I become mentally exhausted.  When I should have been wrestling in prayer, I have merely been wrestling in my mind.  Naming or describing that thing I dread cuts it down to size.  No matter what the fear, it can never overwhelm Jesus.

When I put fear in its place, I am free to speak to God and to hear his voice.  Then I can really wrestle in prayer, with problems, decisions, and goals.  That wrestling is not easy, but it beats going around in circles, distracted from the heart of God.

He puts my fears in their place.

Spirit Suppression

I just picked up Henri Nouwen's book, In the Name of Jesus.  I have never read anything by Nouwen, but his name is very familiar to me.  My friends who seem to have a daily, intimate experience with Jesus often mention his writings.  Having heard this book mentioned in a sermon podcast, I found a free .pdf of the book and began to read.

Only a few paragraphs into the introduction, Nouwen wonders if he is suppressing the Holy Spirit.  I had to click off my iPad.  I already had enough to chew on.

Of course I am suppressing the Holy Spirit.  That is the source of nearly all my problems.  I suppress him, ignore him, forget him.  How many days do I endure, never really thinking about his presence in my life?  I suppress the Holy Spirit, and my life is the worse because of that.

An old iron mine in SW Virginia

Tears rolled down my face this morning as I wondered how much my life would be different, if only I would repent of suppressing him.  My life would be more exciting, fulfilling, rewarding, effective, real, genuine, joyful, dangerous, and free.

Lord, please forgive me for stifling your presence in my soul.  Help me change my heart.  I want to be real.  I want to live.