A Life Well Lived

I haven't posted a blog since April 30, 2026. That was the last day I would see my mother alive. I took her to the Afib clinic that day, as her doctor urged the day before. Her heart was running out of gas, a technical term for her cardiac condition. For years Mom had said that her body had passed its expiration date. She went home to be with Jesus on May 5, 2026, while I was at the beach with my family.

She's been gone now for nearly three months, and life is so different. I keep wanting to tell her family news. I met a cousin a few weeks ago. He's my half second cousin once removed (for real), and he lives just a few miles away. Mom would have loved to know about that.

I miss our weekly trips to Walmart and breakfast at the Friends Home West bistro. I want to show her so many pictures of my grandkids. I have more family questions to ask now, although I did my best to think of everything before she died.

She kept her mind for her whole life, never needing help with medications or finances. In her last few weeks she asked me to change her hearing aid batteries; her hands had gotten too shaky. 

She lived as a widow for 25 years, and learned to manage so many of life's chores after Dad died in 2001. She moved to her retirement community in 2018 where she continued to thrive. In 2021 she broke her neck in a car accident, but recovered remarkably well. She didn't drive after that, and I had the privilege of taking her grocery shopping every week. It became a sacred routine, a time of checking in and catching up. I would show her pictures of my grandkids and tell stories. I would ask her questions about my childhood and her childhood. She kept up with all the family news, and asked about all my work. I treasure those conversations. 

Mom was a great hugger. She got energy from hugs, she said. She's right. I got energy from them, too. 

She lived long, 90 years. She saw all kinds of hardship, growing up during WWII, losing her father in a farm accident when she was only 15. Twice she overcame cancer. She gained so much wisdom. She listened well. She loved so well, very quietly, steadfastly.

She touched more lives than I ever realized, as a school teacher, non-profit director, sister, mother, neighbor. She left a legacy that lives on. But my sister and I are the only ones to whom she was mother. We had that special bond with her. Her goal for us was that we love each other. Mission accomplished, Mom! We now have the profound responsibility and privilege to carry on her legacy. What a joy!

The New Human Mind

Experience shapes our minds, sometimes in ways we don't realize. Science is just beginning to understand how neural pathways are developed and lost. I believe the human mind is rapidly evolving in today's society. Today we find teens and young adults who don't want to drive, fear speaking to a person (in the flesh or on the phone), and generally avoid human interaction. I wonder what mental pathways we are developing and losing.

The human mind is a mysterious thing. It is constantly influenced and shaped, whether we realize it or not. Sometimes the shaping is intentional and malicious. In the old days we talked about brainwashing. Now we talk about gaslighting and grooming. Sometimes the shaping is neutral or benign, just a part of being alive.

We are shaped by activities like exercise, reading, screen time, conversation, meditation. But technology has moved screen time to default mode for experiencing life. Attention spans have become shortened to mere seconds. I heard that Netflix is producing shows based on the assumption that viewers are constantly distracted by their phones. The scripts explicitly spell out plot points that used to be subtle: "If we go into that scary place, we might find the monster..."

So what is the new human mind going to be like? I have some guesses.

Rapidly changing: As generations adapt to every new technology, each generation perceives the world differently. I hate kiosks in fast food joints, but my kids perceive them as frictionless ways to order. Our minds are different.

Divided: We are constantly on the alert for interruptions (i.e. notifications). Full attention is a rare commodity.

Disembodied: The virtual world, captured in pixels and bytes, feels like the real world.

Brand-minded: Our minds will consider life as a presentation, something to be curated for our followers. "How will this look on social media?" instead of, "Will this be fun?"

Neurotic: Quick access to psychological diagnoses will lead to constant self evaluation and labeling of all our little quirks. We will consider ourselves and others as psych case studies.

Is there anything positive about smart phones? No doubt there is. But I wonder if there is anything positive about what they are doing to our brains.

Kill the right people

History is full of power plays. In high school I had a class called, "Wars." It was mostly a recounting of twentieth century history. So much of history is about killing the right people. Of course the tricky part is determining who needs to be killed. The French thought the aristocrats had to die. The Nazis thought the Jews had to die. The Allies thought the Nazis had to die. 

Vladimir Putin thinks his political enemies have to die. Washington policy makers think the radical Muslims in Iran have to die.

Worldly power is all about killing the right people. Unfortunately the "war to end all wars" didn't. America used to stand for freedom, justice, human rights. Now America just stands for brute force winning the day. And the U.S. is killing people because it can. It has the power to kill alleged drug smugglers with drones. It has the power to kill U.S. citizens who are protesting. It has the power to capture heads of state and kill people in the process. It has the power to blow up meeting rooms of supreme leaders.

There is no shortage of people who need killing. Especially when everybody gets to add to the list. Maybe we are all on someone's list. Killing the right people never ends. It just leads to more people who need to be killed.

Jesus found himself on the hit list for lots of people. Judeans of many stripes put him on the hit list. And the Romans came to agree. 

In contrast, Jesus had no hit list. He pled for forgiveness even for his executors. He even gave up his life for the sins of others. He absorbed the hate pointed toward him. 

He calls his followers to, well, follow him. We need to follow him with forgiveness. We need to give up the "kill the right people" mindset. We need to see that the real power is love. That sounds so sappy. It sounds out of touch. It sounds like the fast way to lose almost anything.

And yet this is the way Jesus chose. He did lose. And then he defeated death itself. If we follow him, we will follow the way of love and sacrifice. We will give up killing the right people. And we will have to trust God himself to work it all out.

One More Thing

I feel overwhelmed, and then I make some progress on my to-do list. I finally reach the place where life feels manageable. I take a deep breath and then...

One More Thing.

Just this week I was knocking out dreaded items on my list, and really feeling rather pleased with myself. I had checked off several honey-dos with my wife out of town. (Score!) Then I got up to fix some supper, and as I open the freezer, the door handle just falls off. Yes, it's broken. It's One More Thing.

Life can be overwhelming for everyone. Some days we feel like all we do is put out fires and deal with the needs of other people. It's a challenge. Often you end the day feeling like you have not done enough. There are unfinished projects and open loops. You don't know how it can all get done.

After prayer and worry and strategizing, you finally feel like there is a way. You can picture the resolution. And then One More Thing. Something breaks, you get that phone call, the thing was done is now undone, that person really needs help right now.

I have found this to be a pattern in my life. I am beginning to wonder if this is where God wants me. He wants me to be at the place where I must depend on him. When I feel like life is smooth sailing because I'm clever enough to work it out, that makes me proud of my self, and not in a good way. But with the unexpected coming at me, I constantly have to ask for God's wisdom and power. He keeps me humble. But I also worry, stew, and fret.

I want to get to a new place. I want to stop the worrying and fretting, not because I have it all under control, but because Jesus has it all under control. There will always be One More Thing. But I can trust Jesus to see me through it. Yes I have to deal with it. But I can do it in his power.

There will probably always be One More Thing until I'm fully resting and working in the Lord's love. Then One More Thing will feel like an opportunity for Jesus to show his love and power. Yeah, I'm not there yet.

Brutality and History

Most of human history has been characterized by the powerful ruling over the weak through brutality and fear. A quick survey of history will show one empire after another conquering as much of the world as they could. Big, powerful nations get the headlines in our history books: Assyria, Babylonia, Persia, Greece, Rome. Many of the most famous leaders were also quite brutal: Caesar Augustus, Hannibal, Attila the Hun, Herod the Great, Alexander the Great, and plenty of familiar names from the twentieth century.

For most of history, most people have had to cope with oppression. They have fought for survival, trying to avoid the reach of the powerful. This is just the way of human history. Philosopher Thomas Hobbes described human life as "nasty, brutish, and short." He had a lot of evidence for his point.

There has always been incentive for the powerful to oppress the weak. The powerful can get what they want. They can provide some measure of protection for the oppressed. The powerful make sure to kill all the right people to ensure the outcome they desire. The domination of the strong is just the law of existence. 

One exception to this rule, flawed as it may be, has been the United States of America. Objective history will reveal plenty of abuses of this nation, from slavery to slaughter of Indigenous Americans to internment of Japanese American citizens during World War II. But for most of American history, our leaders have acknowledged the danger of rule by brute force and fear tactics. Leaders have gone out of their way to justify any violence and claim the moral high ground. We Americans know that we are not like most nations in history. We look down on the brutal dictators of any century. We launched a revolution to free ourselves from oppression.

But now we find American brutality being justified without any claim to moral high ground. The world is a violent place, our leaders remind us, and the strong are right to dominate the weak. Our national interests are all that matters. We take what we want and need because we can. We use force on our own citizens and dare local officials to stop the feds. We bomb foreign nations at will, with no authorization from Congress. We bomb boats and kill people in the open sea, stating categorically that only drug smugglers have died. Meanwhile, Congress is too afraid of raw power and retribution to provide any check on executive power. 

What we Americans fail to realize is that most of history has been like this. The strong have crushed the weak, because they can. The strong dare anyone to stop them. Leadership is defined by what you can get away with. And these stories are the stuff of history.

So now, Americans, welcome to normal history. It doesn't feel so good to me.

Kid fun, kid frustration

Old people find children delightful, almost universally. A kid at a retirement home immediately becomes the center of attention. Whether it's a baby or a third grader, elderly people, and adults in general, just love seeing kids.

Maybe the little ones remind us of our own kids or our own childhood. Maybe we like imagining what these children will become. Maybe we want to make up for missed opportunities to love on children.

But what makes kids so delightful?

The joy of kids is so genuine and untainted. They squeal with delight. They jump and dance around. They talk incessantly about their happiness. The folks around happy kids feed on that joy. Adults can capture, just for a moment, the bliss of simple contentment.

Little kids also openly express their bad feelings. They may be tired, or angry, or disappointed, or frustrated. They let it all out with plenty of decibels.

But the adults don't usually feed on those bad feelings. We feed on the joy, but not the sadness. That's what makes kids so much fun. The good times are wide open, and the bad times will soon be gone.

Why don't we "catch" the bad vibes? Adults usually know the source of those bad feelings. The kid is tired, or hungry, or impatient, or disappointed. Knowing the source of the discomfort, we also know that the bad feelings are temporary. They will resolve, fairly quickly. The child will get rest or food or whatever they need. The bad feelings will be soon be gone.

Now to the child, the situation seems impossible to resolve. They have good reasons to feel all those big feelings. That's even healthy. They have every reason to cry or whine or complain.

But adults don't feel overwhelmed by the kid's emotions. Adults know the cause of the discomfort, and know that it will soon be all better. Even so, adults should acknowledge and validate the kid's bad feelings. "That's frustrating, isn't it, Buddy?" "I know you don't want to share the toy, but you will have your turn soon." "I know you feel bad right now; let's get some rest."

Sometimes adults may need to allow an uncomfortable situation to continue for a while, so that the child can develop some patience, or unselfishness, or perseverance. 

I think this is how God deals with us.

He delights in our delight. He stays with us in our bad feelings, knowing that our situation will resolve. He sometimes allows hardship to continue, but knows that we will grow through it.

Adults have enough experience to see that kids' hardships are temporary. But somehow we fail to realize that our own difficulties will also resolve. 

I'm glad God knows it, and loves us even when we pitch a fit.

Try This Restaurant

Here's a new food service model. Imagine this kind of restaurant.

You get seated in a nice, comfortable booth, meet the server, and place your order.

Your food arrives so quickly it surprises you. And it's good. It's hot, tasty, seasoned well, healthy portions. 

Then, before you finish your entree, the server puts another dish on the table. It seems like the server read your mind, because you happen to love that dish. "No charge," says the server. Well, OK, that sounds great. You are not quite full, so you eagerly dig into the unexpected treat. Soon you're getting full. But before you can finish the treat, the server shows up with three new dishes, again, no charge.

"We are actually full now," you advise the server. She replies, "You liked that other food so much, we thought you would like this too. Don't worry, you don't have to eat it all, but surely you want to taste it." It does look and smell amazing. By now you know the chef is talented. So you get a forkful of everything. Some is especially delicious. 

Then you look up as the server places five more dishes on the table. She announces, "Based on the dishes you really liked, we prepared these delicacies for you. Again, no charge, and feel free to taste as much as you like."

This cycle only ends when you stand up and leave the table. You know you've had good food, but instead of feeling satisfied, you feel sluggish, bloated. You don't even remember everything you ate. But it was a very good deal to get all that food for the price of one entree.

So, in a couple of days, you head back to the same restaurant. This time, they really know what you like, so the endless menu offers all your favorites and lots of new, exquisite fare. Now you love this restaurant. You go there several times a week. You invite friends. You get to-go boxes to tide you over until your next visit. You learn that you can Door Dash this place, and now you can get it anywhere, anytime, as much as you like. You get peppered with alerts, reminding you that the food is waiting, just a click away.

You know that life is good, because you can get all the food you can stand, all the time, no restrictions.

But eventually, something doesn't feel right. Can you be addicted to food? Constantly in the back of your mind you are wondering, "What kind of snack can I get right now? Let me check." You know that in 20 minutes you can have whatever you want and some glorious surprises too.

But it doesn't feel right. When did you decide to let someone else choose your menu? When did you decide that in every spare moment you need to be eating? And look at your health. Even all that good food...it's just too much. You have forgotten what even feels like to be hungry. You feel caught.

Not only is the blessing of food now hurting your body, it's hurting your soul. You are not able to concentrate. Your relationships suffer. You feel isolated. 

Something has to change, and only you can change it. Maybe you can find some friends who are also ready to get out of the trap. It's so counter cultural. But you know that bucking the culture leads to freedom.

Who's in charge of the menu of your mind?

On Being and Doing

We call ourselves human beings, but it seems like we put a lot more stress on our doing. It's actually difficult to describe ourselves without talking about what we have done. We can talk about careers, hobbies, families, and it all seems to revolve around what we do.

I've been meditating on human being and human doing.

If I want to know who I am, I tend to look at my circumstances and choices and activities. These external things shape me into who I am. I'm a pastor, a farmer, a neighbor, a reader, a gardener, a hiker, a kayaker. From this perspective, being is a result of doing.

But what if I reverse that? I can start with my identity. I am a creature made by and loved by God. I was born in North America in the 20th century. I am a son, a brother, a husband, a father. I have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. He tells me how precious I am to him. Jesus even died for my sins and conquered death for me. He forgives me. He promises never to leave me. He calls me his friend.

Knowing who I am, then, shapes what I do. I can let the life in me flow out through my decisions, my career, my family. Who I am overflows in what I do. This is the perspective of a human being.

If what I do determines who I am, then I must constantly produce. I must always prove my worth. I have to keep busy. Failing to work can jeopardize my identity.

It is much better to be grounded in my identity first, and let my life flow from there. Knowing who I am, in Christ, lets me receive forgiveness and lets me rest. That sounds like real life.

God in his mercy helps me untangle my twisted thoughts, so that I can see my true self in him. And this, I am discovering, is a life-long process. And it is a process that leads to life.

Noise in My Head

I tend to live in my head. As an enneagram 5, I gravitate toward thoughts, ideas, and reflection. I often don't really know how I feel. It takes effort for me to feel my feelings, rather than thinking about my feelings. I also minimize the signals from my body. If I'm tired, hungry, weepy, energetic--I often dismiss those messages. 

I need to start listening. And watching. And being.

My mind is so consumed with thoughts and analysis that I am turned inward. I may be thinking about external things, but the work is internal. This swirl of problems, plans, and possibilities deafens me to the moment. 

But I am getting better. I'm learning to take deep breaths and enjoy them. I'm noticing my far off thoughts that remove me from the moment. The weather last weekend was spectacular, especially for August. I enjoyed time outdoors, playing with the grandchildren, feeling grateful for the sun on my skin and the breeze in the trees. 

When there's too much noise in my head, I miss out on the love around me. God is constantly speaking through his creation and his creatures. He's revealing his gentle, powerful love. If I'm too busy, too preoccupied, I miss it. When I miss God's love, I'm really missing out. I'm missing out on life. That's no way to live.

Waiting

After Jesus died and was buried, the disciples had to be confused. They had followed this man for three years, and their whole lives were wrapped up in his ministry. He was such a young man, they surely expected to keep following his ministry for years.

But now he was gone. He had tried to prepare his followers for this moment, but they didn't get it. 

It was the Sabbath, so they could not travel far. They just waited. And they didn't really know what they were waiting for. Their lives had just been turned upside down.

Holy Saturday gives us the time to reflect on all the evil of this world. 

And Jesus can handle all the evil of this world. Just wait.

Friday

It is Good Friday.

Jesus refused to fight back. He let evil come at him with all its force. He was accused of crimes he never committed. He was betrayed by one of his best students. He was deserted by all his other followers. His mom looked on, powerless to help. People of his faith accused him of betraying the faith, or anything else that would stick. They took him to the occupying enemy, now accusing him of treason. In that court he was condemned by a judge who knew he was innocent. He was beaten and mocked.

He was given the death penalty.

Good Friday is the day of his defeat. 

Jesus absorbed all the evil this world could muster. And he turned it all around for good.

You washin' my feet???

In John 13 Jesus washes his disciples' feet. He shows that humble service is what the Father is looking for. He demonstrates that he came to serve, not to be served.

One by one the Lord washes his disciples' feet. When he comes to Peter, Peter protests that Jesus would never wash his feet. What was Peter thinking?

He might have been ashamed that the foot washing had not been done. This ritual was very common and part of normal hygiene. Typically a servant would handle this task. Since Peter had helped prepare the room for the meal, he might have felt embarrassed that he forgot to arrange for a foot washer.

He might have thought that he himself should have handled the washing, at least for his Master. He didn't want Jesus picking up his slack.

He may have been rejecting Jesus's style of leadership. All along Peter pushes against Jesus's plan to be mistreated and executed. Maybe Peter saw this menial task as something that a true leader would never stoop to do.

It's hard to say why Peter turned Jesus away. But when Jesus says, "Unless you let me wash your feet, you have no part with me," Peter quickly changes his mind, asking for a virtual bath. 

Our motives can be complex.

Silent Wednesday

The events of Holy Week are most clearly described in the Gospel According to Mark. And Mark doesn't have anything to say about Wednesday of the week. 

So on this silent day, we can take the time to reflect quietly on the whole barrage of activity on the other days. We do well to sit in the uncomfortable feeling of the impending doom for Jesus. We can reflect on our own failure to trust him and live in his power.

I realized just today that I need extra time these days just to sit and soak in the presence of Jesus. He helps me to be present and to listen to truth.

Real Authority

When Jesus arrived in the Temple courts on Tuesday of Holy Week, he ran into the religious authorities. The chief priests, the teachers of the law, and the elders came up to Jesus and began to question him. 

They ganged up on him to put him in his place. They had all the authority in the Temple, or so they thought. The chief priests ran the show. The teachers of the law knew the Bible inside and out. The elders were leaders among their people. Together they could expose this rogue preacher.

They demanded to know where Jesus got his authority. As for them, they could quickly show their own credentials. They had followed the protocol for being religious leaders, being selected as high priests, having studied at Jewish schools, and having taught in synagogues all around. The source of their authority was clear: their connections, education, and followers.

So where did Jesus get his authority? Jesus responded with a curveball. He asked them where John the Baptist got his authority. They could find no satisfactory answer to that question. Rather than acknowledging the truth, that John's baptism was from God, they considered the optics of the possible responses. If they said John was legit, then Jesus would call them out for not believing him. If they said he was not legit, they knew the crowds would be upset. 

It looks like the religious posse had no clue about the source of authority for John, Jesus, or themselves. All they could do was read the polls.

Real authority comes from God. Jesus had it, and didn't need to prove it.

Misusing Religion

On Monday of Holy Week, Jesus cleansed the Temple. He drove out the sacrificial animals for sale and turned over the tables of the money changers, who exchanged Roman coins for Jewish coins. 

Jesus declared that his Father's house should be a "house of prayer," but these people had turned it into a "den of robbers." 

It looks like the Passover Feast was prime time for cashing in on the religious faithful. People were using religion for unfair personal gain. Jesus did not like that.

He still doesn't like it. We can all point to some of "those people" who take advantage of religion as a way to line their pockets. But there are other ways to misuse religion. And it's not just those people.

Some use faith as a weapon to manipulate others.

Some hide from real life and stay too busy with church activities. 

Some let their politics rule their faith.

Some pay for ministers and missionaries to do faith for them. Then they don't have to feel guilty when their own faith is empty.

There are so many ways to misuse religion. Jesus comes to rescue us from our own hypocrisy. We all need some temple cleansing.

Palm Sunday

Tomorrow is Palm Sunday on the Christian calendar. It commemorates Jesus's entry in the city of Jerusalem for the Passover festival. Every year it was a big deal, and Jews from all over the world would come for the occasion. In fact, Jesus and his family regularly came to celebrate when he was growing up.

This time the energy was building for a big celebration. The Jewish people felt like this feast helped them maintain their cultural identity, in spite of the heavy hand of the Roman occupiers. It was the perfect time for Israel to announce its independence with a new, powerful leader. Jesus seemed to be rising to the occasion. He had spent some weeks ahead of Passover, canvassing the towns of Galilee, winning popular support.

There was so much anticipation that the crowds cheered wildly for the new Messiah as he rode into town on a donkey. Some even cut palm branches, waving them in excitement or laying them out on the road ahead of the Lord. Yes, it was all about to go down.

No wonder people were so excited. 

But in true Jesus fashion, Jesus had some serious twists in store.

I'm working to trust Jesus as he allows the twists in my life. It's not easy to trust him when things catch me so off guard.

Zacchaeus

Just before Jesus enters Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, Jesus reaches out to a most unlikely observer. You probably have heard of Zacchaeus the tax collector. We know of him as the "wee little man." He had a lot of strikes against him. As a tax collector he was viewed as a collaborator with the enemy, Rome. Not only was he working with the enemy and selling out his own people, he was getting rich in the process. He had to look pretty selfish to his fellow Jews.

We don't know what led him to a career in tax collecting, but he may have had a struggle with rejection in his life. Perhaps he was rejected because of his stature or unfortunate family connections. Maybe he was just abrasive. If he was going to be rejected anyway, he might as well get rich. He certainly did not have any friends who would clear the way for him to see the visiting celebrity. 

So he climbed a tree to get a better look. He probably wanted to blend into the scenery. But Jesus took special notice of him. He called to Zacchaeus in front of the whole crowd and asked to be Zacchaeus's guest.

Just before the last week of Jesus's earthly life he took time to reach out to a reject. 

To Jesus, no one is a reject.

Do you see it?

In Luke 13 Jesus expresses sadness over Jerusalem because the people don't recognize prophets, and they never have. 

As he enters Jerusalem (Luke 19), Jesus openly weeps for the city. "If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace--but now it is hidden from your eyes."

Do you know what will bring you peace? So often we do not. We think we know, and we pursue those things, and so often end up disappointed. 

The truth is often hidden from our eyes. This is why we need our eyes to be opened. 

Where do your eyes need opening?

• a relationship
• a job
• an attitude
• a decision
• a regret
• a promise
• a challenge
• faith
• trust

Let's ask God to open our eyes. There is so much we need to see!

Why so sad?

Jesus had set his sights for Jerusalem just before his death. He declared that he would encounter opposition, be arrested, be tried and executed, and rise on the third day. Huh? His disciples could not get his meaning, especially about the dying part.

On his way to the Passover showdown in Jerusalem, Jesus expressed his sorrow for the city (Luke 13:34f). He lamented the state of the city: O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing! 

Jesus is frustrated that the people of Jerusalem were so blind and deceived. He is sad that his people would not listen to him, and that they did not recognize him. He offered them such hope and redemption, but they rejected him. 

The religious establishment of Jerusalem had a long track record of missing the message of prophets. This day would be no different. The authorities rejected and even persecuted those who spoke truth. And even Jesus's closest disciples weren't tracking. 

No wonder Jesus was sad. Their rejection would mean pain for Jesus and hardship for his people. Nobody likes rejection, but Jesus knew that it was the only way for redemption. He walked intentionally into this hardship, so that he could take on the powers of evil in all their intensity. And he knew he would overcome for us.

Losses

Life is full of losses. You can lose your keys, your shirt, or your life savings. You can lose your health, lose a relationship, lose a loved one. Some losses can be recouped. Some are permanent.

There is no way to live without losses. We work to minimize losses, of course. There are good strategies for avoiding loss in every sphere. 

Because loss is inevitable, we do well to learn ways to cope with loss. Here are some suggestions.

• Anticipate loss. Don't be surprised when it happens.
• Have a plan in place for the event of loss. You might call it a Plan B, or contingency, but what would you do if you lost your health or your spouse or your savings?
• Decide now that you will be OK, even in loss. If you learn to trust in God now, you will be better off when you have to trust him in hardship.
• Build relationships now, so that in loss you will not be alone.
• Hold onto things lightly. When you lose your looks or your health, which is almost inevitable, you can still find meaning in life.