Waking Beauty

Throughout history, mankind has appreciated beauty in nearly every area of experience:  art, literature, architecture, engineering, design, arrangement, nature, astronomy, landscaping, music, mathematics, animals, gardens, food, geographical features, skies, birdsongs, rainbows, and human beings.  We find beauty in any location, medium or endeavor.  People seek out beauty.  While some argue that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, the world skips the debate and covets beauty.  We are drawn to it.  We gravitate to the beautiful patterns of fabric, the beautiful flowers in a garden, the beautiful buildings on a tour, the beautiful paintings in a gallery. 

We are also drawn to beautiful people.  Sometimes it is because of their outward beauty, the Barbies and Kens of the world.  Sometimes it is because of their inward beauty, found in the plain, ordinary folks, those not glorified in dolls or action figures.  Obviously most people fall somewhere in the middle on the beautiful to ugly continuum.  And for most people, beauty is desirable.

We are drawn to beautiful people, and we want to be beautiful ourselves.  Untold billions of dollars are spent on weight loss, muscle toning, wrinkle ridding, hair coloring, and hair restoring.  It seems that everyone wants to look better.

Yet there is a cap on physical beauty.  Dustin Hoffman once broke down in tears as he described his realization about beauty during the filming of Tootsie.  Dressing in drag for his role, he was made up as a woman.  The makeup artists finished their work and revealed the Tootsie look to Hoffman.  He protested.  This “woman” was not so good looking.  If he had to be a woman, he wanted to be a beautiful woman, he said.  The makeup crew confessed that they had done all they could do.  His beauty was maxed out.  Suddenly he realized what women have struggled with since the beginning of time.  Facial beauty has natural limits.  He was only playing a part in a movie.  Women have to face this every day.  Merely recalling that moment brought him to tears.  His experience highlights the double-standard for beauty:  culture looks for beauty in women but generally gives men a pass.

But there is another kind of beauty, inward beauty.  We all  know the jokes about the blind date who has a great personality:  she may be a dog, but she’s fun.  We also know people who are physically unattractive, but magnetic on the inside.  For these people, it is almost as if no one ever told them that they were homely.  The joy of life radiates from their eyes.  Surely some have advised them of their plainness, but they have chosen to listen to the Voice of Truth.  When you see that they don’t believe they are ugly, you begin to agree.  You see the real beauty.

We also know people who seem beautiful until you get to know them.  Eventually the lovely face looks like a mask, hiding the hideous personality.  The real human monsters may look like Ken or Barbie.

I recently went to a fast food restaurant to get a breakfast biscuit.  A young woman took my order, and I noticed the joy beaming through her eyes.  I walked down the counter to pick up my order and another young female worker greeted me with a glow of confidence and happiness.  How blessed is that store manager to have two such engaged, willing workers.  They both did possess a measure of physical beauty, but what struck me was their inner joy manifest in their expressions.  With scowls on their faces they may not have appeared beautiful at all.

I began thinking about the relationship between inward and outward beauty.  Inward beauty can actually create outward beauty.  However, outward looks never create inward beauty.  Outward beauty has limits, but inward beauty knows no limits.  Outward beauty always wanes with age, but inward beauty can grow forever. 

Character always wins the battle for beauty.  Joy in the soul brings real beauty.  It even changes the look of the face.  The better you know a joyful soul, the more beautiful he or she looks.  Inward beauty actually creates outward beauty.

The health or sickness of the soul always comes through..  Acid in the soul trumps physical beauty and often brings a hardness to the face.  Maybe your mother was right.  Your face can freeze that way.  Ugly souls turn beautiful faces sour.

But here’s the irony:  In our culture we spend mountains of time, effort and money on any tiny drop of beauty to be squeezed out of our limited looks, while we ignore the unlimited source of lasting beauty.  We pound away at the ceiling of our outward beauty, missing the open skies of soul beauty. 

In September 2013 the Huffington Post reported that American women spend over $426 billion per year for beauty products.  Nearly half a trillion dollars go toward women’s beauty products.  Add to that the investment men may make, and we get the picture of a culture obsessed with physical beauty. 

Instead, we can pour energy into developing the limitless, lasting beauty that brings joy and enhances relationships.  How can one develop inward beauty?  We can learn to love ourselves, and recognize our genuine worth, declared by God.  We can change our self-talk, to speak good things to ourselves, even as we would speak with kindness to a friend—or stranger.  We can choose not to listen to the voices that put us down, and listen to the One who gives his beauty to us.  Most of all, we have to believe it.  We have to trust that God gave his Son for us to give life and beauty to us.  We may all have features we wish were different, but most of us are more physically beautiful than we will believe.

God has given us the capacity to appreciate beauty all around us, and to find beauty in people.  The classical writers even found some objective standards of beauty.  They made no apologies for pursuing truth, goodness and beauty.  I do not fault people for recognizing physical beauty in people or for striving for their own physical beauty.  We just need to recognize that it is limited, it is often unfair, and it much less important than beauty within.

Maybe the blind dates with good personalities really do have more fun.  

Selfie Awareness

Taking selfies has always seemed awkward to me.  Even seeing others’ selfies makes

 me slightly uncomfortable.

Me, not smiling.  No one told me to say cheese.

I finally figured out what it is.  In the old days, people did not often take self-portraits.  It was too much work.  You had to set up a tripod or balance your camera on a steady surface; then set the timer to count down before the shot; then run quickly to your spot in the frame and wait for the shutter to click.  That was so involved that people rarely did it.

Photos normally were taken with someone behind the camera.  The photographer coaches, arranges and frames the subjects.  Then he calls out, “Say cheese!”  Everyone smiles for the photographer.  They smile for someone who is there.

Here’s what’s so different/creepy about selfies:  it is a solo experience.  You are not smiling for anyone else when you take the picture.  You never instruct yourself to say cheese.  It’s like you pretend that someone else is behind the camera, when really you are just smiling for yourself.  Maybe it’s just me, but it seems weird. 

Blessed

Peter Lord was our special guest at Crossroads last weekend.  Whenever he comes, he teaches us to say, “I am blessed and very much so.”  I never really got that until I read his book, Bless and Be Blessed.  There he explains that we don’t understand blessing until we receive the blessing of God. 

 

I am learning what blessing is.  Typically when I think of blessing, I think of health, friends, material provisions, and pleasant circumstances.  But Peter explains that to bless means to eulogize.  God speaks good words over me.  The blessing is always there in Christ; I’m learning to receive it moment by moment.  He speaks his love, his mercy, his hope, his pleasure over me.  God speaks to me and about me.  He blesses me.  I am learning to receive it. 

I am blessed and very much so.

Knowing that God speaks well of me lifts me to a higher plane of living.  Knowing that God is blessing me as I breathe, lets that blessing overflow from me to others.  Living in his blessing saves me from being critical, judgmental, hurried and defensive.  It takes the focus off myself, and puts it on Jesus and others.

Sounds familiar:  Love God, love your neighbor.

I am blessed!

Seven Reasons We Want Stuff

People want stuff.  They always have.  We always have.  We want stuff, even though we know that relationships are more important.  Admittedly some people have little desire for possessions, but they are the exceptions in American culture.

What drives our desire for stuff?  I’ve done some thinking about this, I’ve come up with seven primary reasons we desire things.

1.  Necessity

There are certain things we need for living, including food, clothing and shelter.  Of these, food is a consumable, so I don’t think of it as a possession.  But clothing and shelter can clearly be possessions; they are things we need, whether or not we own them.    

A second necessity is physical security.  We possess many items to keep us safe from accident or crime:  door locks, railings, firearms, alarm systems.

2.  Comfort and Convenience

Many of our possessions just make life easier.  We like to have them because they save time and effort.  We find comfort in furniture, air conditioning, and those heated seats in cars.  We find convenience with refrigerators, lawnmowers, computers and telephones.  

With some items, we find emotional comfort as well.  It may comfort us to see family Christmas ornaments, or familiar portraits.

3.  Vanity

Of course sometimes we like stuff because it makes us look good.  We wear jewels and drive cars so that others will notice.  People enjoy looking good, and stuff helps. 

We also may want to look good for others.  A wife wears a dress or a necklace because she knows her husband likes it.  We also buy stuff to fit in with a certain crowd, even if we don’t like the stuff.

4.  Greed

This one is fairly obvious.  We like to accumulate stuff, sometimes hoard stuff.  Jesus tells the story about a man who had so much grain that he tore down his storage barns to build bigger ones.  When we have stuff we like, sometimes we just want more.  I think this appeal is partly based in fear—fear that God will not provide for us in the future.  We have to look out for ourselves because we can’t trust God to take care of us. 

Another kind of greed is really mean:  we want stuff just to keep someone else from having it.  Even if we don’t want the thing, we can’t bear for that other person to have it.  This is a sign of damaged relationships.

5.  Excitement

Some possessions give us a thrill:  boats, skis, cars, bicycles, camping gear, electronics.  We want that stuff because of the experience that comes with it. 

We also have the thrill of beauty.  Some possessions are just beautiful and valuable because they bring pleasure through their beauty.

6.  Work

Some possessions aid us in our work; they are the tools of our trade:  wrenches, ovens, saws, mixers, sewing machines, etc.  We desire these items because our productivity and creativity soar when we use them.

7.  Responsibility

Some stuff needs to be cared for and kept, such as family heirlooms.  We want these possessions out of a sense of duty, believing that someone should care for them. 

Then there is also the responsibility of saving for the future.  Some possessions are also stores of wealth:  houses, collectible items, investment art.

When we understand our motives for wanting stuff, it helps us evaluate those desires.  More important than any possession is our soul.  Maybe we should ask ourselves how our possessions affect our souls.  Some possessions build us up.  Some tear us down.  Some are just neutral.

Think about why you want stuff.  You may surprise yourself.

In summary:  Why we want stuff:

1.      Necessity

            a.   Food, clothing, shelter

            b.   Physical protection

2.      Comfort and convenience

a.       Physical

b.      Emotional

3.      Vanity

a.       Please ourselves

b.      Please others

4.      Greed

a.       Accumulation

b.      Deny others

5.      Excitement

a.       Thrill of adventure

b.      Thrill of beauty

6.      Work – We need tools to do our work.

7.      Responsibility

a.       Heirloom items

b.      Investment items

Hearing the Truth

I recently finished Peter Lord's book, Hearing God.  His down-to-earth, humble style assures me that I too may hear the voice of God.  His practical suggestions for learning to hear the voice of God help me develop the habits needed for real communication with God.

For many of us, prayers are those letters we put in the mail, stamped with our time invested, which we hope and assume arrive in God's mailbox.  We never expect replies.  We just hope that something happens that looks like God may have had something to do with it.  Then our prayer is answered.  Or at least we claim that it is.  We have some evidence that God actually opened our prayer-letters, and that he actually did something about it.

But prayer really can be more like a conversation.  We limit the two-way communication by the way we approach prayer.  We cover our prayer lists without taking time to listen.  We never think of listening, because we so rarely ask God to speak.  We just ask him to do.  Why should we listen?

Peter Lord teaches on prayer at Crossroads in February 2012.

Peter Lord gave me a new idea for prayer.  When I face a puzzling situation, I can ask God to show me the truth about it.  I assume that I have all the information I need.  But I don't really know what motivates others.  I don't know for certain how or why things developed.  I need the truth.  I can ask God to reveal to me the truth behind someone's frustrating behavior, behind my sinful habits, behind the roadblocks to ministry.

Then I need to listen.

It takes time, patience, quiet, peace--all things in short supply today.  We have to nurture peace in our hearts and carve out time in our schedules.

When I hear the truth from God, I will probably be surprised.  I never understood it that way.  I never realized the key to that person's heart.  I never saw how my behavior contributed to the problem.  I never knew that my attitude made such a difference.

God will reveal these things, if I will listen.  Then I can repent, respond, or wait, in the power of the Holy Spirit, and Jesus has his way.

The Point of Worship

Yesterday in our worship celebration, one of our worship leaders asked the congregation, "Why do we worship?"  Someone responded, "Because it pleases him."

We need to understand the point of worship.  It is all directed at God.  He is the audience.  We are all performers for God's pleasure.  The worship leaders encourage the congregation to sing and surrender to God.

Think about cheerleaders at a football game.  Real fans don't go to a football game to see cheerleaders.  They go to see the game, to root for the team.  Cheerleaders just organize the cheers of the fans.  How strange it would be to have a stadium packed full of fans who watch quietly as two dozen young people shout, "Block that kick!"  The shouts would barely carry across the field.

So when we gather, we need to turn our attention to the One who is worthy.  We cheer for him.  We give praise to him.  We open our hearts to him together.  We are not the audience.  He is.

It pleases him.

The Hurry Curse

I recently read John Ortberg's book, Soul Keeping.  I had never read a book about how to keep my soul.  While Jesus makes a big deal about one's soul, we find very little about it in Christian literature.  Jesus did ask, "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul?  Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"

It seems like we have plenty of help in keeping our habits, keeping our money, and keeping our doctrine pure.  But none of these has any value if we don't keep our souls.

I have a habit of hurried thinking.  My dad was that way.  He died 13 years ago, but he always seemed to be in a hurry.  Even in his years of retirement, he kept himself and his family poised for the next thing.  I remember rushing through meals and walking fast. He was an industrial engineer, so he was always looking for efficiency.  But efficiency must have a higher purpose.  Why do we want to do things faster?  For what are we saving time?  What is the value of moving on to the next hurried task?

I have inherited that mindset.  I hate the agony of time to relax, when I feel like I should be doing something.  Being productive makes me feel worthy.  If I am being still, I am unworthy.  That feels worse than being hurried.

Ortberg, calling on the late Dallas Willard, notes the difference between being busy and being hurried.  We can be busy, keeping a full schedule, without being hurried.  One can keep a long list of appointments without being hurried.  It is a mindset.

Hurry says that I'm in control, and that means trouble.  I work harder, get frenzied, and work poorly.  Busy (ideally) recognizes that God is in control, and that means everything is all right.  I trust God to take care of all my oversights and shortcomings.  Hurry is walking by sight.  Busy is walking by faith.

Many times a day now, I catch myself with the hurry mindset.  It steals my peace and limits the depth of my thinking.  It wears me out, and leaves me feeling guilty that I have not accomplished more.

But Jesus bids me come to him and find rest for my soul.  His yoke is easy and his burden is light. I can choose joy and peace as I handle my responsibilities.  Then my mind and soul are free to work.  That is living apart from the hurry curse.  Only through Jesus can I find that power through freedom.

Hurry keeps my soul ruffled.  Jesus gives me rest for my soul.