A Slow, Terrifying Dawning

How can I repent of my great misunderstanding? I have hacked away at life, looking for triumphs, wishing for success, claiming wins. Bur somehow I have severely misunderstood this thing called life.

I thought it was about making a living, about survival and then success. It was about amassing enough income and wealth that I could provide and be comfortable; about having accomplishments of career that validated me. It was a game, and I was to prove that I could compete. I did not have to win, but I could not lose. I could work the system at least enough not to starve.

But life isn't about working the system. It's not even about being comfortable. Its about active, aggressive, loving abandonment to God. It's about selflessly loving those around me.

How could I have missed it so? How could I have been blind to the work of God's reconciliation all around me?

I have this growing belief that I have been so shaped in my thinking by this American culture that I can't even recognize how God wants me to live. My pattern of thinking is so distorted that I can barely fathom what Jesus says in scripture. How can I possibly understand what he says to me in prayer?

Like Descartes, I need to start at the foundation. What is this thing called life? What's it for? What's my role in it? How does God communicate it all to me? Am I even listening? How does the framework of my mind need to be restructured?

I know I need to repent. That is, I finally realize that every perspective and belief I hold is suspect, and I must be brought under the authority of Jesus. May he somehow break through my Westernized encoding and renew my mind. May he transform me.

May more scales fall from my eyes. How I long to see.

I want to repent, and I don't know how to start. I don't even know what's wrong with my assumptions. I am unaware of my preconceptions. I have been blind, but maybe now I am beginning to see. It's a slow, terrifying dawning.

I see my old self in the attitudes of others. Inwardly I cringe. I feel more and more isolated because I see the flaws, the hypocrisy. I see the arrogance, the pride, the shallowness. I see myself, my old self, I hope.

It's hard to repent when I barely understand my sin. But I know it's there. I know my perspective is much more Western than Christian. That's why it's so hard to see myself through the eyes of Jesus. I already know what he sees, but my knowing is mostly assuming, and now I fear it is mostly wrong.

I can't keep conforming to the pattern of this world--even church world--but I must be transformed by the renewing of my mind.

God has his work cut out for him. But then, he is God, and in the cross and the resurrection, he has already done the work.

Lord, help me repent.

Conservativism

In this age of instant communication, we have become exceedingly poor communicators. Outrage and condemnation are the default modes for public discourse. Only rarely do we find a fair, reasonable voice on today's issues.

We have to work on listening. With that in mind, I want to consider the term, conservative. As my pastor during my graduate school days said, right is right. And I agreed. I ascribed to conservative theology and conservative politics.

But if conservative means holding on tenaciously to the status quo, then I have to think again. There are clearly problems with the way things are. Women have been mistreated. Justice has been denied to large categories of citizens. Too many indulge their greed and take advantage of the poor or uninformed.

The term "conservative" sounds to a lot of people like, "defender of the status quo." So a conservative is one who wants nothing to change. The system is just fine. If the poor and disadvantaged would just get with the program, they would find their own slice of prosperity. The real world treats everyone the same, so deal with it. Stop whining.

I don't want to defend the status quo. I'm beginning to see the problems with our culture and society. I see injustice. I see my own privilege. I see how the good-old-boy culture has tainted politics, sports, and entertainment. I see the dark underside of capitalism.

Meanwhile, I do believe in small government, personal responsibility, traditional morality, compassion, and freedom.

It's hard to hear voices of reason now, because everyone is yelling. No one is listening. There is plenty of reason not to trust anyone, because everyone seems to be promoting some corrupt agenda. Maybe shedding the labels is a good place to begin. I'm not a defender of the status quo.

Money Economy

Watching a documentary about Wendell Berry (Look and See: A Portrait of Wendell Berry, available on Netflix), I heard him use a phrase that struck me: "a money economy."

The term almost seems redundant. What other kind of economy is there? When we talk about "the economy," of course we are talking about money and wealth. The word economy comes from the Greek words oikos (house) and nomos (law). So economy means the rule of the house, or how we do things.

Berry's phrase helped me see that there can be many kinds of economies. Relationship economy, reputation economy, moral economy, friendship economy, intellectual economy, compassion economy...

So, which economies do I pay attention to? In which economies am I investing? Am I learning about the economies that really matter?

In our society, we know which economy really matters. Economists believe that every resource will be used in whatever way will produce the most profit. So, you won't find a vegetable garden along the street in Manhattan...or virtually any other city. That prime real estate can make more money with retail, office, or housing. The pressures of the market force the property to be used for more lucrative purposes. If not now, some day that property will be used to make money--as opposed to food.

(And why would anyone grow food if not to make money. I don't know. . . maybe to eat.)

And that's the way we think. We just assume that money is everything.

Show me the money.
Follow the money.
Go and make money.
Live long and prosper.
Win the lottery.

What would our world be like if we paid more attention to other economies? How would I be different if I cared about the economies that really matter?

Rethinking Capitalism

I have heard a lot of criticisms of capitalism lately. Those evil capitalists are exploiting the masses.
All they care about is profit.

For those who criticize capitalism, I wonder if they know what capitalism is, and what the alternatives are. Dictionary.com defines capitalism as: an economic and political system in which a country's trade and industry are controlled by private owners for profit, rather than by the state.

Capitalism can also be described as free enterprise, free market, private enterprise. In this system, people who own things can use those things as they choose. They can use their property to produce something. Land can be used to produce food and fiber. Buildings can be used to store goods. Ships and trucks can be used to transport goods. Equipment can be used to manufacture goods. (And of course there is the exchange of information and services as well as goods.)

When people own things, they have the right to use those things to produce something worth selling. That's freedom. The theory of free enterprise was spelled out in The Wealth of Nations, by Adam Smith, published 1776. He goes into great detail about specialization of labor, means of production, and the labor force. Many European governments operated as monarchies at the time, so Smith advocated for a system driven by the marketplace, not the whims of a king.

One alternative to capitalism is socialism, as defined by Dictionary.com, a political and economic theory of social organization that advocates that the means of production, distribution, and exchange should be owned or regulated by the community as a whole. Typically in a socialist system the government makes all the business plans, determining what will be made, when, where, and by whom. It is all done for the common good, so everyone has to get with the plan to make it all work. Socialism tends to limit personal incentive to work, as the fruits of one's labor simply go into the collective pile of everything made by everyone. 

I found a list of other alternatives to capitalism, and they are esoteric and complex. Really, they are more like philosophies than economic systems. So, when people criticize capitalism, I wonder what they really want instead.

However.

We need to rethink the way capitalism works here today.

Government interference in the marketplace distorts the market. 

Lawmakers work with big industry to enhance private sector profits, favoring large corporations over small businesses. Small farms, for example, are squeezed out of existence as U.S. farm bills subsidize grain production. 

•  Subsidies create artificially high prices, which keep farmers growing grain.
• Struggling farmers, of whom there are many, seek to plant more and more grain, knowing they can turn a profit, thanks to the government.
•  Government policy explicitly encourages large operations, giving the message, "Get big, or get out."
• Large farm operations buy up the smaller ones and work their farms with huge, expensive equipment.
•  Farm equipment manufacturers gladly sell bigger and bigger tractors and combines.
•  Production of grain keeps increasing, yielding an overabundance of grain.
• Meanwhile, the food industry has a growing, cheap supply of grain, which is processed into all sorts of food products. 

This crony capitalism forces small farmers out of business, results in a glut of grain, and allows food producers to create cheap processed foods. Cheap, abundant, unhealthy food then creates an obese, sickly population.

The pursuit of the dollar above all else harms society. 

Disregarding the health of the population, private industry markets foods that harm consumers. At some point, food companies need to consider public health above higher profit. 

• Food companies give grants to universities to do food studies. Over and over, these studies find that people need to consume more of the foods produced by food companies. Ever wonder why the base of the government food pyramid is grain? Follow the money.
• The health issues resulting from the American unhealthy diet provide great opportunities for the pharmaceutical industry. They make pills that fix the ills of unhealthy eating.
• The public pays the price for the profits of big industry with diabetes, high blood pressure, chronic pain, and autoimmune diseases.

Today, capitalism in America is missing a key ingredient, emphasized by Adam Smith: morality. The free market system only functions well when capitalists care about consumers, when factory owners care about workers, when marketers care about truth.

I’m not ready to throw out capitalism. But it can do a whole lot better than this.

Revenge of the Fire Ants

Joseph made the Israelites promise to take his bones for burial in the Promised Land. It took 430 years, but his descendants finally made it happen.

I spent years destroying fire ant mounds in Fort Worth, Texas, and apparently they passed word along for generations to come get me. It took about 30 years. They caught up with me last week.

For those blessed with ignorance of fire ants, please enjoy your bliss. But they are aggressive, prolific, and angry. They are especially angry when you disturb their mounds, even accidentally. The first time I encountered a fire ant, I was delivering the Fort Worth Star Telegram newspaper along my paper route. I was walking through the grass of an apartment complex when a bagged newspaper slipped out of my hand. I picked it up from the turf, and moments later, I felt a searing pain on the back of my hand.

Ouch! It felt like fire! In just a moment I realized that I had been bitten by a fire ant. I learned to look for ants, and avoid them like I never needed to in NC.

A few months later I got a new job working for the landscaping crew at my graduate school. This put me in close, regular contact with those evil creatures. My job was mowing grass...not putting out insecticide. So I had to learn real well how to spot the signs of fire ants. When I was promoted from push mowers to riding mowers, I learned to take great delight in scalping those ant hives. I would go out of my way to scatter their six-legged bodies far and wide. I don't think I ever suffered a bite while rolling along in my 60 inch swath.

Now understand, fire ants live in the hot, dry sandy parts of North America, like Texas and along the Southeast coast. They have been migrating ever so persistently toward colder, less sandy realms.

Then last week. Last week came after last winter. Remember that cold winter that would never let go? Remember the first 7 days of 2018? It never got above freezing. I walked repeatedly across my farm pond. I felled trees on that frozen reservoir.

If ever cold weather would halt the march of the fire ant, this winter had to set them back. But they found me. Innocently I pushed my mower through the lush, front yard turf. I noticed some ant hills, of course as I casually paced along. Then I had this pain up near my knee. Ooh, what was that? Then another, another, another. Nearly a dozen of those sensations made me wonder if I was having some sort of neurological episode. I saw no creatures, and at first saw no evidence of bites.

It never occurred to me that I was fire ant lunch. We don't have fire ants in Rockingham Co. I had heard rumors of them in neighboring counties, but not this far north. When the welts showed up, I came to the sobering realization. They had found me. After all thee years they found their revenge.

From now on, I will have to watch my own yard for those hateful insects. I'm getting some Spectricide. Game on.

Consumerism and Capitalism

We live in a consumer-driven society. So much of life is driven by commerce. We are constantly buying or selling. The inescapable barrage of ads reminds us that life here is about making purchases. You can't even pump gas anymore without hearing some product pitch.

As soon as a new means of communication is created, someone harnesses it for advertising. We need people to consume, so that we can sell. We need people to consume so that we can earn a living. Consuming makes our world work.

Some products are necessary, like food and clothing. Some products aren't necessary, but potentially desirable for something other than survival. Those who produce unnecessary products have to create demand for those products. Go see this movie. Buy this car. Eat at this restaurant. Ask your doctor if [some drug] is right for you. The trick is to make you think you really need this product. We know that advertising works, because sellers keep advertising.

This consumer culture seems to be a necessary byproduct of capitalism. One makes a living by producing and selling a product or service. We receive pay for our work. We may provide a service to an employer, or we may sell our product directly to consumers. Our income depends on others spending money. And the better our products are marketed, the more we sell, and the more income we receive.

In a free market, we can sell our products or services to anyone who agrees to pay for them. And so a free market becomes driven by the art of persuading people to buy.

I like capitalism, for the most part, but I find consumerism repulsive. That's hard for me to reconcile.

Dread

Attitude is everything.

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life, Proverbs 4:23.

The enemy wants to hijack my heart, making me expect and anticipate bad things. This world is evil, but the devil wants me to believe that I face this evil world alone and unprotected. Somehow, I fall for this trick over and over.

Jesus has promised us that he is with us always, even to the end of the age. Paul tells Timothy that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of self-discipline.

It is up to me, with the help of God, to guard my heart, my attitude. When I believe that God has good things for me, even today, I trust him even when the going gets hard.

No trouble has ever come on me that God has not redeemed, either in the short run or the long run. I can trust him with my schedule, my conversations, my safety, my future. I'm not an orphan. I have a Father, and he walks with me through all the shadows of death.