It helps me to take
few steps back and look at my life.
I see how my children have grown, I look at the impact my life is having
on the world, I see the person I am becoming.
I can see my life more as a story, and I feel less overwhelmed by the
moment.
I keep a journal, and have for over 20 years. My collection of journals is the story of my
life. I write about my struggles,
successes, fears, joys, insights. I often
write my prayers and record lessons God is teaching me. As God shows me who I am, I try to capture
that on paper.
As with any story, there are different versions of my life
story. First there is my story, as
recorded in my journals and retold by me.
I’m the main character, and it’s all about me.
Then there is the story of history. This will be the way I am remembered by the
world, after I die. I don’t expect to make
it into the history books—after all, very few people do. For most of us, we are remembered by only a
generation or two, before we become mere mentions on tax records and
tombstones.
Finally there is the real story, the story told by God. We will never see the real story on this
earth. Before eternity we will never
know entirely how our lives have impacted others. We’ll never know what a difference we have
made in the kingdom of God. We’ll never
know how our sins and virtues have been used by God in his ultimate story.
Because God is the ultimate Author, I am part of his
story. When I forget about my role in
God’s story, I get self centered, believing that life is all about me. Rather than becoming lost in God’s story, I get
lost in my story. And I get more lost.
Of all my thousands of journal entries over the years, most
have never been read again. I put the
words to paper, crystallizing my thoughts and processing my experiences, but I miss
out on the big picture. I need to go back and see who I was years ago. That will help me see where God is taking me
on this journey.
So, here’s some advice I need to take.
Take time to look
back and make sense of your life.
See what God is up to. The path
of my life is leading somewhere, and the trail behind me helps me know where I'm
going. If I never take time to evaluate,
I won’t understand the big picture of my life.
I won’t know how I fit into God’s big story.
Don’t get overwhelmed
by the moment. When I do look back
on my life, I remember feeling worried and tense many times. From the perspective of today, I realize that
I could have really chilled out—it was going to work out fine. But I want that kind of confidence in the
moment, as I live my life. I know Jesus works
things out. By putting my trust in him, I
can face life with joy, peace and certainty that he walks with me. I need to train my brain to take the long
term look, and realize that today is another chapter in my story. He is writing it, and I can trust him.
Don’t be a boring
character. Philosopher N. D. Wilson
suggests that if we read the story of our lives, we would think that our
characters were boring. I want to take
risks, try new things, get into difficulties, and come out on top. It is much easier to fit in, blend in and not
make waves. But what fun is that? Will that really advance God’s story?
I believe that the only story which really matters is God’s
story. We don’t know who the truly
important characters of history are. Today
we can see whose names are in the history books, written from man’s perspective. But when we enter eternity, I believe we will
all be surprised to discover what kind of life really mattered to God. My guess is that many of the big names in the
history books will pale in comparison to the quiet, daring lives of disciples
who made a big splash in eternity. That’s
the kind of life I want to live. I need to think about it and live it.
