Some gestures mean a lot. A gesture can affirm or insult, welcome or frighten. The hand over the heart indicates reverence when reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. A one-finger salute can tell another driver exactly how you feel.
Christian tradition includes the gesture of crossing oneself. It is a way to invoke God's grace and blessing. It's a way to acknowledge with your body that your body belongs to God. It reminds the faithful that God is with us in life's journey.
Actually, I know far too little about the significance of crossing yourself. I grew up as a Protestant, and we just don't do that thing. We know that the Catholic Church went off the rails way back centuries ago, and we know we are not Catholics. If only Catholics cross themselves, then we won't do that.
I failed to realize that Christians used this gesture in the early centuries of the Church. This was a helpful, reverent practice, a physical way to surrender one's attitude to the Lord.
I still feel really weird and awkward when I cross myself. In fact, I have never done it in public. I have only crossed myself while alone. It still feels too Catholic. And I'm not Catholic. But I am a believer in Jesus. I do want to remind myself that his death on the cross gives life to me. I want to use my body to indicate my surrender to him. I know that Jesus willingly received all the horror of humanity in himself on the cross. And by the cross he brings healing, restoration, reconciliation, redemption, forgiveness, hope.
Maybe someday my appreciation for Jesus's death for me will outweigh my desire not to appear Catholic.
