Showing posts with label childhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label childhood. Show all posts

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Cars and Childhood

I went to a classic car auction yesterday in Greensboro -- the first time I've ever been to one.  I went mostly for the chance to hang out with some friends from church, but it was much more interesting than I expected.  There were hundreds of cars waiting for a turn on the auction block, on display in a huge show room.  The real bidders paid an extra fee, while most people simply came to look.

1964 Lincoln Continental, like one I remember from childhood. 
Ours was light blue.
What is it about automobiles that captivates us so?  Just seeing old cars brings back memories for me.  There was a 1964 Lincoln Continental, much like one my family owned.  I remember a few things about that car.  Whenever we took it through the automated car wash, we armed ourselves with towels, because the windows leaked terribly.  I also remember asking my mother about a dial on the dashboard:  it was the cruise control, she said, explaining how that feature worked.  The dial was slightly crooked, and Mom explained that it didn't work.  We had bought the car used, and apparently there were some issues with it.  I don't remember when we sold it, but I do remember that we ended up with a Volkswagen station wagon and a Toyota Corolla station wagon.  My dad liked station wagons.



I'm not the only one with car-memories.  The auction room yesterday was full of old people telling stories and young people making memories.  I wonder if such fascination with automobiles is unique to Americans. 

The cars from our youth make a deep impression on us.  My daughter's boyfriend was captivated by our 2003 Ford Windstar van, because it was like the one his family had many years earlier.  She, meanwhile, is mourning the failing health of the car she drives, the car that has been part of the family since before she was born.

It is not only cars, however, that make a big impression on us.  Visiting places of childhood brings back more than memories.  It brings back impressions and feelings.  We might remember a song or situation or a long-forgotten friend.  So much of our lives is shaped in childhood. 

And that is why childhood and children are so important.  My children are grown now, but I know they have powerful memories from their early years.  Attitudes, perspectives and feelings about life take shape in those earliest years, when children spend hour after hour riding in back seats, looking out the windows, watching the world go by. 


Tuesday, March 11, 2014

No Pain, No Problem


The Little Red Hen understood the real world.  She asked for help as she planted, nurtured, harvested, milled and baked.  No one cared about helping with the work.  Everyone wanted to enjoy the freshly baked bread.  She rightly allowed only those who worked for the bread to  Sadly, she ate alone.  She understood that pleasure and responsibility go hand in hand. 
enjoy it.

These connections are self-evident to those steeped in the Protestant work ethic.  The pleasure of sex brings the responsibility of commitment and potential parenthood.  The pleasure of leisure comes after the responsibility of work.  The pleasure of beachfront property brings the responsibility of preparing for storm damage.  The “pleasure” of poor health choices creates the responsibility of dealing with diabetes, heart disease, lung cancer, or cirrhosis of the liver. 

Unfortunately today’s culture works constantly to sever pleasure from responsibility.  Pregnant and don’t want to be?  There’s a pill for that.  Hung over?   There’s a pill for that.  Sleepy?  Have an energy drink.  Distracted?  Choose your ADHD med.  Negative consequences must be avoided at all costs, even at the cost of human life.  The consequences of recreational sex, laziness, poor judgment, poor health choices, and economic risk must not be felt.  (This is actually part of the contemporary doctrine that all suffering must be avoided.)  Some corporations are too big to fail, so the taxpayers bail them out.  When hurricanes destroy their homes, uninsured property owners receive interest free, government guaranteed loans.  Many able-bodied adults choose not to work but collect electronic benefits transfer (EBT) payments every month.  Millions of babies die each year when abortion is used as birth control.  Though intended to help people, these pills and policies harm the individual and society.  They interfere with natural cause and effect.

Yet well-parented children know that the pleasure of a snow day means school work must be done at another time.  They know that chores come before play.  They know that living in a family obligates children and adults to help run the household.  This connection of pleasure with responsibility reflects the “real world.”  However, through science, marketing, and government programs, our society works to create the life of pleasure with no responsibility.  The real world is too cruel, so we must save people from it.  This sounds as appealing as having ice cream for breakfast and a staff of servants to do all the chores.  It might seem good in the short run, but ultimately someone must pay for it.  The servants must be paid, and poor health comes from a sugar-rich diet.

Therapists deal with those deprived of the proper pleasure/responsibility balance in childhood.  Those with no pleasure have been overworked; they have been robbed of their childhoods.  Meanwhile, those with no responsibility have never had to work; they never mature beyond childhood.

Our society moves steadily toward the latter.  Fewer people take responsibility because fewer people have to.  Looking at today’s pro sports, government, and prime time television, one must ask the same question:  Where are all the grownups?  There must be a pill for that.