The Hider avoids
relationships at every turn. He enters
every conversation looking for a way to end it.
He may fear being exposed, or may feel inadequate. The hider wants to be discovered, but doesn’t
feel worthy. He wants to see the other
person make the effort, because only then can he tell if that person truly
wants to be friends.
The Diver jumps
right in. She has never met a
stranger. She tells you her life story
in the grocery line. Everyone is
interested in her life, or so she thinks.
The diver gets in too deep too fast in nearly every relationship, and
often gets hurt. The diver shares so
much information, that it overwhelms her friends. Others may find themselves avoiding divers.
The Runner runs
from relationship. It’s hard to catch a
runner. He will avoid commitment, and
cancel plans with flimsy excuses. Runners
are content to be alone, and don’t believe that Jesus wants to bless them
through friendships. Friendship is valuable,
but he would rather observe it than experience it.
The Stonewaller is
an easy person to get to know—at first. This
person makes friends easily, but only allows people to get so close. When the relationship reaches a certain
point, the stonewaller refuses to go deeper. Such people have experienced hurt with too
much vulnerability, and they don’t want to go there again. They may have lots of shallow friends, and constantly
see people go in and out of their lives.
The Climber goes
into relationship slowly. She gradually
gains trust and earns respect. The climber
counts the cost of friendship very carefully.
She wants deep friendships, but finds it difficult to open up. When she feels betrayed or let down by
someone, she removes that person from the deep friendship track in her
life. She may have lots of friends, but
only a few close friends.
The Clinger
constantly looks for one person to escort him through life. This is a needy person who will use up anyone
who openly befriends him. The clinger may
turn on someone who begins pulling away. He leaves a trail of former friends as
he moves through life.
We have to remember that friendship is not optional, not if
we want to be obedient to Jesus. He
calls us to live life together in fellowship.
We actually need each other, so that we can become all that God wants us
to be.
By the way, I’m a hider.
